Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
