Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
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They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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