please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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