I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
