i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize