I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
