if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
