i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
