I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i jhust puked up my retainher.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
