The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
