Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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