Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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