I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
