His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
