Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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