I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
