We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
