Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That's intense
its not stalking. its research.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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