she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
