Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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