pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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