Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
