All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
