can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
