I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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