i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
