The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
