ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
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I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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