yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
