can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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