ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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