So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
