She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
