I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
