We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
