my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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