i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
