Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
