Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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