I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
