So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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