and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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