he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
