I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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