it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
