i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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