Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
