yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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