But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
