please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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