I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
