i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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