It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
