Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
