But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize