so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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