xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
