I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
