i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
