ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
