walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
